​Grief - Br. Matt Pepple, OFH

A few months ago I lost my grandmother, Janet. It was really rough, considering that her health was declining for quite awhile before she passed away. She had congestive heart failure and kidney failure. I honestly thought that she was going to outlive even me. I never honestly expected her to pass away at 89. It was hard and it was rough. Sometimes there are days where it feels like she just passed; even though she passed in August on my dad's birthday (her son's) no doubt.

Grandma was in more ways a mother to me even more so than my actual mother. I spent the last year of her life as her caregiver. I am now tasked with cleaning out her house that she had lived in since 1963. To say that she had a lot of stuff is an understatement.

In the midst of my own grief; I am reminded of John 11:35 - "Jesus wept." Not only is this the shortest bible verse, it conveys an immensely powerful feeling and emotion and that our Lord was going through. Lazarus had died and the human side of Christ fully took the blow that we all experience at some part of our lives. I am also reminded of Psalm 56:8 "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?" God takes great care with our sorrows. He knows the reasons behind every tear we shed.

Sadness is not the only thing we feel during grief; there are other stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It's important to note that in your own grief that you may not experience these stages all at once or in this order. You may experience different parts at different times. In my own grief the two stages I have felt immensely have been anger and depression. Sometimes the depression is too much to handle. Other days I don't feel anything at all, really.
The biggest thing about your grief is to not fight what you feel. If you feel like crying; it's ok. Sometimes when someone passes it may not always make sense to us. My uncle - my grandmother's son passed away last year almost on the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. He had a massive heart attack and over the past year my grandmother was "bargaining" trying to think of everything she could have done so that he would still be here. It didn't bring him back and it was his time to go. My wife recently lost her uncle - shortly after my grandmother passed and sometimes in the midst of your own grief it is very easy to see the grief that other's experience.

It's very important to know that you are never alone in your own grief. Some of you may not know about Griefshare, but if you have a Griefshare group at your church or fellowship, I strongly encourage you to look into it. Many people are going through what you are going through. And it may also be a good idea to keep track of your grief journey with a journal. Just write about it. Write how you feel
or what you are experiencing. This is just something for you - sometimes writing will also help you feel better.

I am sorry for the "downer" of an article but I just wanted to let you all know a little bit about grief if you are experiencing it right now. Sometimes grief happens and we do feel alone. Jesus is always with us; please tell him about what you are going through. He hears every prayer. Please know I am praying for you all. God bless you. Amen.